Saturday, August 22, 2009

Bubba has a question??????????????????????

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, 'Is It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer?'

'Yes, Bubba, sure is true,' responded the lawyer.

'And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?'

'Sure is, Bubba.'

'And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?'

'Yep.'

'And that football player sued that university when he graduaided and still couldn't read?'

'That's right,' said the lawyer.'

'But why are you asking?'

'Well, I was thinkin... What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser
fer all them ugly women I slept with?'

MWANAFUNZI MZEE KULIKO WOTE DUNIANI AFARIKI

ALIYEKUWA mwanafunzi mzee kuliko wote duniani, Kimani Maruge amefariki Ijumaa wiki hii, katika hospitali ya Nairobi alipokuwa akipata matibabu ya kansa.

Maruge( 84), alifanya tukio la kihistoria pale alipoamua kujiunga na shule ya msingi Kapkenduiywo iliyopo Mashariki mwa Kenya, mwaka 2004 kufuatia kuanzishwa kwa utaratibu wa elimu bila malipo , ulianza rasmi mwaka 2003 chini ya chama cha Narc.

Katika enzi za uhai wake, Maruge alikuwa na malengo ya kuwa Daktari mwenye umri mkubwa. Mwaka 2008, alikuwa mmoja kati ya maelfu ya watu walioshindwa kurejea masomoni kutokana na vurugu za uchaguzi zilizotokea nchini humo,nyumba pamoja na mali zake ziliharibiwa vibaya na wapinzani.

Eneo la Langas Estate, ambapo ndipo alikuwa akiishi kuliathiriwa vibaya na vurugu hizo, iliripotiwa kuwa jumla ya watu 11 waliuawa nyumba ya pili kutoka kwake Disemba 30,2008. Maruge alifanikiwa kutoroka kutoka Eldoret hadi Nairobi kutokana na kutokuwepo na hali ya usalama huko nyumbani kwake.

Shirika la msalaba mwekundu nchini humo walimtafutia makazi katika nyumba ya wazee inayofahamika kama Chesire iliyopo jijini Nairobi. Muda mchache baada ya kuishi Nairobi aligunduliwa kuwa na kansa ya utumbo.

Maruge, ambaye ameweka rekodi katika kitabu cha Guinness ya kuwa mwanafunzi mwenye umri mkubwa zaidi kujiunga na elimu ya msingi.

Rekodi hiyo alichaguliwa kushika nafasi hiyo akiwa darasa la tano mwaka 2007, ambapo katika mtihani wake wa mwisho wa mwaka alishika nafasi ya 14 kati ya wanafunzi 58 waliofanya mtihani huo.

Akiwa shuleni hapo alisema taaluma aliyoipata imemsaidia sana kuongeza uelewa kwani hadi wakati huo aliweza kusoma vizuri biblia.Somo la Kiswahili ndio lilikuwa chaguo lake.

Jane Obinchu ambaye alikuwa ni mwalimu wake ni miongoni mwa watu waliotoa salamu za rambirambi kwa familia ya marehemu Maruge.

Mambo ya kawaida jamani...

Kama unaona kuwa kuna kitu kinakufurahisha humu kwenye blog yangu basi hakuna noma kama ukiniangushia sifa mwanangu mwenyewe.....
Washkaji Mungu akipenda tutaonana basi.........ila kumbuka kuwa Mungu ni mmoja na siku zote anafanya maajabu kwahiyo si mbaya kama tukimshuru kwa kila nia.....
Mungu awabariki watu wote wa Dunia hii.Amen!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?



2
 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 

3
 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 

4
 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?   cause I amGonna Kick their asses! 

5
 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 

6
 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 


7.
 When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8
 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?




9
 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? 

 

If you are having a bad day, remember it could be worse...

If you are having a bad day,  remember it could be worse...