Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween

Why Halloween

is Better than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.


9. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some.


8. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.


7. Less guilt the morning after.


6. It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're someone else,

because you are.

5. Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

3. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes, then go again.

2. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

1. You can do the whole neighborhood!

Hoover dam bypass bridge

A quarter-mile downstream from Hoover Dam, two fingers of concrete stretch toward each other from sheer cliffs, suspended nearly 900 feet above the Colorado River.

Any day, the fingers will meet, an 80-foot gap will close and the longest concrete arch in the Western Hemisphere will be complete.
The union will mark a major milestone in the nine-year construction of the Hoover Dam bypass bridge, scheduled to open in late 2010.
But even incomplete, the overpass, officially known as the Mike O'Callaghan-Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge, evokes a sense of wonder. Towering columns perch on naked rock. The arch is held by tendons of steel cable.

When the four-lane road is laid atop the arch, it will be the third-highest bridge deck in the country.

The bridge is intended to replace the road atop the Depression-era Hoover Dam as the main route between Phoenix and Las Vegas.
The project is designed to speed the trip along U.S. 93 and facilitate more trucking commerce among Canada, Mexico and the U.S.
The $114 million bridge project has been a challenge. Accidents delayed it by two years and claimed one life, as workers battled intense heat, dangerously high winds and perilous heights.






Saturday, October 24, 2009

Barbie is getting older

How to save the Airlines


Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton.

Failed parenting











Joke of the day

Two women were exercising together at the gym when one said to the other, "Oh no, I forgot to take my vitamins today. I'm walking around unprotected!" The other replied, "I wouldn't worry about it. I forgot to take my Prozac today. Everyone's walking around unprotected."

NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEVER, NEVER, EVER
let the groom order the wedding cake ...

Gaining trust is like filling a bucket....one drop at a time.

The Wedding - this is so touching, please read.

Very uplifting message.

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are, something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiancé, Nick, 23.
This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy.
Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions...


Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of every single part of the wedding planning.
Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie's constant weight loss.


An expected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception.
The other couple in this picture is Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and of course to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.


Katie, in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.


Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as bride with a beautiful smile makes you think... happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts.....lets enjoy life and don't live a complicated life. Life is too short.

Work as if it was your first day.
Forgive as soon as possible.

Love without boundaries.

Laugh without control

and never stop smiling.




Please pray for those suffering from cancer.

We all have close to our heart.

Keep this going.

Prayers are always answered.

Dont let grandma make the pancakes

There ..... I Fixed It






















Mambo ya kawaida jamani...

Kama unaona kuwa kuna kitu kinakufurahisha humu kwenye blog yangu basi hakuna noma kama ukiniangushia sifa mwanangu mwenyewe.....
Washkaji Mungu akipenda tutaonana basi.........ila kumbuka kuwa Mungu ni mmoja na siku zote anafanya maajabu kwahiyo si mbaya kama tukimshuru kwa kila nia.....
Mungu awabariki watu wote wa Dunia hii.Amen!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?



2
 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 

3
 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 

4
 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?   cause I amGonna Kick their asses! 

5
 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 

6
 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 


7.
 When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8
 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?




9
 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? 

 

If you are having a bad day, remember it could be worse...

If you are having a bad day,  remember it could be worse...