Friday, March 27, 2009

Mtoto mmoja mdogo alikuwa akiongea na baba yake kuhusu suala la kuoa na mazungumzo kati ya wawili hao yalikuwa kama ifuatavyo:
Mtoto: Baba mimi nataka kuoa!
Baba: Mh! Unataka kumuoa nani?
Mtoto: Nataka kumuoa bibi
Baba: We mtoto, yaani unataka kumuoa mama yangu, haiwezekani na hata mila na desturi zetu haziruhusu
Mtoto: Kama haiwezekani mimi kumuoa mama yako mbona wewe umemuoa mama yangu?
Baba akabaki hana jibu...

ZE NO IS NOT RICHABO
Kuna jamaa mmoja hivi juzi aliwaacha watu hoi maeneo ya Posta jijini Dar baada ya kujaribu kupiga simu ya mkononi kumpigia swahiba wake lakini simu ya jamaa yake ilikuwa haipatikani ila simu ilipomjibu jamaa huyo kuwa "Namba ya simu uliyopiga kwa sasa haipatikani tafadhali jaribu tena baadaye". Ndipo jamaa alipoonekana akijibu simu hiyo kwa "We mpumbavu nini unanifanya mimi sina akili sio kama hii simu haipatikani mbona wewe umepokea sasa hebu mpe simu mwenye simu niongee nae bwege wewe.
Watu waliokuwa karibu na jamaa huyo walivunjika mbavu kwa ajili ya kucheka...[center]

Top 10 Dog Complaints



'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

'3'

Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

'4'

Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

'5'

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.

'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

'9'

Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?

'10'

How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!

Mambo ya kawaida jamani...

Kama unaona kuwa kuna kitu kinakufurahisha humu kwenye blog yangu basi hakuna noma kama ukiniangushia sifa mwanangu mwenyewe.....
Washkaji Mungu akipenda tutaonana basi.........ila kumbuka kuwa Mungu ni mmoja na siku zote anafanya maajabu kwahiyo si mbaya kama tukimshuru kwa kila nia.....
Mungu awabariki watu wote wa Dunia hii.Amen!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?



2
 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 

3
 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 

4
 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?   cause I amGonna Kick their asses! 

5
 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 

6
 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 


7.
 When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8
 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?




9
 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? 

 

If you are having a bad day, remember it could be worse...

If you are having a bad day,  remember it could be worse...