WHO IS STEALING YOUR KODAK MOMENTS?

WHO IS STEALING YOUR KODAK MOMENTS

15 Maybes and Early Valentine

1. Maybe. . We were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

2. Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

3. Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

4. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

5. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

6. Maybe. .. . You should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

7. Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

8. Maybe. .. . The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

9. Maybe. . You should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

10. Maybe. . You should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

11. Maybe. . Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

12. Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

13. Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

14. Maybe. . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

15. Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe .. . . you could send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them.

EARLY VALENTINE For God so loVed the world, That He GAve His on Ly BegottEn SoN That whosoever Believeth In Him Should Not perish, But have Everlasting life." John 3:16

WHY OLD PEOPLE BREAK THEIR HIPS

Women Parking Skills

true story

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

Soon only Ernie was left.

'Ernie, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy soldiers.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, until the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy soldier with her bare hands.'

'Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'

'Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.'

Products and signs from around the world have slightly different meanings here in theUSA ....

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words..

Flight school

Cheap Way To Impress Women

One Spoiled Elephant

Good Advice

Look out for the Police

Water Break

Fighting Boredom

Smoking Bus

Entrance Only

Help

Redneck's Christmas Tree

Romance is not Dead

You Know You Are Living in 2009 when ...

SOOOO TRUE!! ENJOY!!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when....

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7.. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13... Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Medical Alert

MADNESS 2 5 DOLLARS...

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Stimulus Plan Explained

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that can be explained using the Q and A format:

Q. "What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?"

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. "Where will the government get this money?"

A. From taxpayers.

Q. "So the government is giving me back my own money?"

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. "What is the purpose of this payment?"

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. "But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?"

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

· If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

· If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

· If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

· If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

· If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.

· If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America! You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

OLD

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat

so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. A gentleman approached her &

said, 'Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know

that your dress is blowing up in this wind?' 'Yes, I know,' said the lady. 'But

I need my hands to hold onto my hat.' 'But madam, he said, 'you must know that you're derriere is exposed!' The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!'

HOW TO KNOW WHEN SHE'S REALLY HAD IT!