To my darling
Husband,
Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you
Know about the
Small accident I had with the
Pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately not too bad and I
Really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway. I pushed down on the
accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your
Car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much
I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving
Wife.
@ PRISON | @ WORK |
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Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.
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Jamaa wa nyuma anafanana na Tony Yeyo kweli yaani!
Dogo amechoka kweli baada ya kucheza kwa muda mrefu sana tu...Pole sana pata mvinyo kwanza!
Two Major DJ's in Wichita....I don know what does that sign mean may be u can tell me...Viewer.
This is why I hate being African sometimes....look at the guy on the yellow actin retarded...Grow up homeboy it jus a pic.....Damn!
Boys in the Hood sellin anythin for profit....Mambo ya Kinywaji cha Kijani..haya bwana yangu macho tu!
Mtengeneza mabawa ya Ndege huyo kushoto akiwa na Financial Advisor wa Obama hapa nadhani ilikuwa ni Mtibwa.
Thats whats up.....Munis is inside ya chumba ready to represent..Go for it Hommie!
Wow.....thats so wonderful....but this man doesn't seem like he's enjoyin the music....I think he's playin defence here...It's all gud!
"Hell Naw!" What's that?....Pepsi?Is he serious?Where did he buy that poison? Someone call nine one one pliiz!
Tehe tehe tehe.....Mpaka chini hiyo....Hapa hakuna malezi kabisa.....MTV imeshawaharibu dada zetu wameshasahau "KWAITO".
This guy seems like he's lookin for mikasi kwani mida inakwenda na pombe ndiyo imeshakolea kwa kwenda mbele yaani......Na zana hapo hakumbuki kabisa yaani....Majuto kesho!
To the right is " MWITA MUCHARA MASAUTA MASATU MAFURU MAGORI CHAHA SUNGA KISAMVU....I forgot the middle name!!
This is what we call...."FRIENDSHIP"....Wabongo mnapendeza sana mkiwa mnawakilisha kama hivi.....safi sana yaani!PEACE!!
Martin a.k.a BBQ at the middle....u don need anymore alcohol bro....ur eyes tell us the truth...Na nakuona una kajiafro siku hizi....mambo ya "CHANGE WE BELIEVE" Huh?! Na wewe Sani embu penga kamasi hilo bwana!
Is he the only one over the age of 21?Or the rest are broke?I need answers so bad!
Different places....Different pple!Look here now....I can't believe it him!
I don think he's payin attention at all....seems like he's in a mission.I'll find out soon give me some few mins! 
Everybody say " CHEEEEEEEEEEZ" .....Excellent!
We really need to use"Proactive"...Hey? Start pay attention to the commercials....Thanks!
Aint nobody hates you partner.....Unajihisi tu....By the way don wash that t-shirt, cause the words would become "ASS"
Nice suit hommie but the hands are kinda long.....Jus take back where it belongs.....Thanks!
Party pple....Aaron a.k.a the "Budweiser American Ale"
Baba Mtarajiwa....Obama anakuwa Rais...Kijana anakuwa baba.....Welcome kwenye ulimwengu wa Child Support.See u on court in a future!
Jamaa wa kulia ananikumbusha wanajeshi wa Afrika kweli yaani. Au jamaa ni soldier kwani na sula yake naona vyote vinaendana kiaina yaani! "LIGWARIDE!". 
